


Rocket Men

by n_nami



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: AU, Astronauts, CSA, Graphic Sexual Content, International Space Station, M/M, NASA, Romance, Roskosmos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 14:21:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3252998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n_nami/pseuds/n_nami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dr. Jensen Ackles takes the chance to live on the ISS for six months, he expects to get over his last relationship by working and experimenting. He doesn't expect a fellow Texan to waltz into his life halfway into his mission and mess up every single one of his principles about workplace relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rocket Men

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [spn_reversebang](http://spn_reversebang.livejournal.com/) 2014.
> 
> Cross-posted on my LJ [here](http://namichan89.livejournal.com/38010.html), art post by meesasometimes [here](http://meesasometimes.livejournal.com/63766.html). Check it out!

 

Soyuz – _Union_ (Russian); spacecraft designed by the Soviet space programme in the 1960s; after the retirement of the US Space Shuttle fleet it is main transportation device to and from the International Space Station.

***  
  
 _Today is the day._

That's the sentence Jensen has repeated to himself for the last twelve hours, yet he still can't quite believe it.

However, “Today's the day,” he mutters.

“What did you say?” Osric asks from beside him.

Jensen takes a deep breath and adjusts the folds of his pressure suit for the umpteenth time in the last four hours. “I said, today's the day.”

Osric chuckles, while Mark comments from behind them, “I cannot believe it either.”

“I mean, we're strapped to three hundred and change metric tons of metal and explosives, and we're still looking forward to being launched into space,” Jensen laughs and shakes his head as much as his helmet allows. “Who does that? On their own accord? I mean it's one of the safest ways to get astronauts to the ISS and more people die in car accidents than spacecraft-related accidents, but really?”

“You're rambling,” Osric notes with a grin.

“Yeah, I'm nervous,” Jensen admits.

“But,” Mark throws in, “Doesn't it sound like the beginning of a bad joke? An American, a British and a Chinese man travel to the International Space Station in a Soyuz rocket. What happens?”

“Technically, I'm Canadian, you know. Dual citizenship, sent here from the CSA, which has a C for Canadian and an S and an A for Space Agency,” Osric replies over his shoulder, then snorts. “And that joke didn't work.”

“Well, I'm going to blame it on the situation as a whole,” Mark waves it off and sighs, tension oozing off of him in waves.

That's when the intercom interrupts them and Jensen's pulse starts running at way too fast a pace. It's the moment they've been waiting for for hours now.

“This is launch control to commander,” the tinny voice says with a thick Russian accent.

“Commander Ackles to Cosmodrome Baikonur launch control,” Jensen manages to answer with a relatively stable voice. “The crew is ready for take-off.”

“All systems are go for launch,” ground control announces. “Engine start in T minus 60 seconds.”

“Jeez,” Osric huffs out via their on-board intercom. “They used to always have like, nine minutes countdown for the Space Shuttle starts. Give a guy some warning.”

Jensen smiles to himself, covering his nervousness. “Confirmed,” he says to launch control.

The seconds tick by so slowly, Jensen can almost feel how it drives everyone mad, the atmosphere in their little capsule charged with anticipation and excitement.

“Engine start in five.”

Jensen moves his lips silently around the numbers. _Five, four, three, two, one._

The rocket jerks and sways on its axis as the four by four booster engines start. From there, it's fifteen seconds until the turbopumps are at full power and deliver enough fuel to the boosters so they can actually get the rocket with their little spaceship on top from the launch pad into the air.

Jensen closes his eyes and counts those fifteen seconds, too.

It's not a jostling, harsh push that goes through the Soyuz, it's more like someone dropped something heavy right into Jensen's lap and pushed him into his individually formed, foam-covered seat. Beside him, Osric grunts in surprise.

“We have liftoff,” launch control announces.

Jensen is too busy catching his breath to answer or make any comment. The thrust of the rocket is becoming increasingly intense, building up to its maximum of six times the earth's gravitation.

In silence, they just hang on and try to enjoy the ride as much as possible

After two minutes, ground control notes, “Booster rocket separation initiated.”

As the rocket burns through all its fuel, it becomes lighter and lighter, allowing the engines to accelerate it up to 17,500 miles per hour. They travel through the lower parts of the atmosphere, and through the part where they will lose radio connection to ground control.

Then they're in space. Officially in space. Officially astronauts.

“Wow,” Osric breathes out.

“Yeah,” Jensen says after following his look out the window, where they can see parts of Asia becoming smaller beyond them.

With a little bit of luck, they'll make it to the ISS in about six hours.

“Separation from second stage confirmed,” ground control says as another lurch shakes the spaceship. “Everything working as expected.”

Jensen takes another deep breath, even though his lungs are burning and his heart is threatening to jump right out of his chest.

In front of him, his water bag starts to float.

***  
  
When the rendezvous between the ISS and their Soyuz is finished and the hatch opens, the relief among their little crew is palpable.

After more than ten hours, including the waiting period that they'd spent in the Soyuz before launch, Jensen is just happy to finally stretch his legs.

“Welcome on board the International Space Station!” a voice announces from behind the hatch. It's guttural and rich, although the speaker is not a native English speaker.

Jensen takes the proffered hand to allow himself to be pulled into the station, where he's faced with a grinning guy with a Russian flag stitched to his sleeve, shining blue eyes and messy dark hair. The first thought that shoots through his mind is that their commander is smoking hot, but this isn't the time or the place to think about it.

“Commander Krushnic,” Jensen greets him. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too, no-longer-commander Ackles,” the cosmonaut grins and pulls him into a hug. “You can call me Misha.”

“Jensen.”

The others exit the Soyuz and introductions are made with handshakes and hugs all around. Everybody is genuinely happy to meet new people, and Jensen finally connects the names he already knows to the faces in front of him. Krushnic, commander of ISS mission 42 and the upcoming 43, Harris, microbiologist, Murray, engineer, Bush, geographer, Wasilew, also engineer, and Korsakov, physicist. No one bothers with their PhD titles up here, since the cold, dark space doesn't care either whether you've got a doctorate or not.

Afterwards, Misha claps his hands. “Alright. So I suggest we all head over to Unity and grab something to eat. I bet you guys are hungry,” Misha offers and waits for Jensen's gesture to lead the way.

On the way to the module, Jensen takes a minute to get used to the feeling of floating in a zero gravity environment. They've been trained for this in an oversized swimming pool, but it's completely different to actually experience it – to have no concept of where up and down is, to have to grab on to something so you don't float away, to be able to spin on your axis whatever way. Around him, everything is covered in velcro, since they docked onto the Pirs module and are visiting the Russian part of the space station first. The air ventilation hums in the background, a noise Jensen is sure he won't consciously be aware of in barely a couple days.

It's kind of cozy, even though everything around him is packed with laptops and research material, pens taped to the table and the walls – floor, ceiling? - and there's the two sleeping berths of the Russian segment, complementing the other four in the American segment.

The onboard crew is excited to see new faces after being cooped up with each other for over three months, three of the crew are looking forward to going home soon, three of them are thrilled to be in space at all – and due to all of that, it's really not hard to have a good time.

Harris – Danneel – pretty much latches onto him from the get-go.

“So you're a biologist, too?” she asks him.

“Biologist with a minor in medicine and some engineering experience,” Jensen answers, and just like that, they're knee-deep in an engaging conversation that keeps Jensen on his toes. She's whip-smart and funny, and Jensen likes her from the very spot.

The two Russians are a bit more reserved, but friendly, and Misha makes up for both of them without even trying. Sophia is really nice, but also seems quite exhausted, while Chad is buzzing with happiness about his upcoming departure.

Together, they have one last meal, cramming around the dinner table that was originally designed for six people. Jensen's first meal in space is Szegedin goulash that isn't even half bad. It's weird to eat out of a plastic bag that comes out of a food warmer box and needs to be filled up with water from a dispenser on the wall, but Jensen knows he soon won't question it any more.

They continue the changeover of the crew by attaching their mission insignia to the Unity module's wall.

It's a simple hexagonal design, dark blue background with the earth and the ISS and the number 43 in it. Along the rim, there are their names – Krushnic, Harris, Korsakov, Ackles, Sheppard, Chau. Jensen still feels like Neil Armstrong when he looks at their little sticker among all those older ones, because their little symbol is right among famous Space Shuttle and ISS assembly missions. They're a small part of this amazing endeavor.

Next, they claim their sleeping bunks by sticking their names above the respective doors.

Jensen ends up with one of the two bunks in the service module Zvezda, in the Russian segment of the ISS. It's Wasilew's old berth, and the one opposite the hallway is Misha's.

Then it's time to load up the Soyuz on the opposite docking station Poisk and make it ready for the departure of three of their astronauts. Chad Murray, Sophia Bush and Alexandr Wasilew will go home tonight, and it's kind of a Hi and Bye moment for Jensen and his part of the crew.

Misha is the one who rings them off with an old ship bell, a tradition for departing spacecrafts from the ISS, and after the hurry and the noise of nine people milling about the confines of the station, Jensen eventually finds himself sitting in the Cupola module two hours later, looking out the 180° glass window. For the first time in almost two days, he takes a deep breath as he watches the Soyuz drift down towards the earth.

He's here, he's in space, they made it, and this is going to be it for the next six months.

“Amazing, isn't it?” a voice asks from behind him.

Jensen looks down to find Misha smiling at him. “Yeah. We didn't have much time to watch on the way up.”

“Night start?”

“Yeah,” Jensen nods.

“I can only recommend taking a few minutes every day to look out the window. I do that, too. It puts a lot of things into perspective,” Misha explains as he opens a few shutters to increase their view. “But remember to close the shutters afterwards, they protect the windows from debris.”

“Sure,” Jensen smiles, then takes a moment to turn towards Misha, who is now floating with his legs crossed underneath him.

At Jensen's curious gaze, Misha explains, “It's the closest thing you get to sitting up here.”

“So, you miss it?”

“Sitting? Nah. You don't need much rest here, since you barely put any strain on your body anyway. Then again, a nice, fluffy mattress and a sheet and cushion to lay down on... sounds really tempting,” Misha sighs.

Jensen tries to find a comfortable position to talk to Misha, but eventually just gives up and lets his legs float the way they want to. “How long has it been for you?”

“Three months and two days. And since I'm one of the two astronauts on a long-term stay, I won't go back to earth until you do.”

“The other is Danneel, right?” Not that Jensen doesn't know that, but he tries to keep the conversation going.

Misha raises an eyebrow, knowing exactly what Jensen's doing, but nods. “She's pretty much the best thing that happened to me here.”

That, on the other hand, makes Jensen curious. “How so?”

Misha tilts his head as he thinks and considers his answer. Eventually, he shrugs and smiles to himself. “She's a great scientist, a trustworthy colleague and an even better friend.”

For a moment, Jensen has an idea that he can't quite shake, so he just spits it out. “So you aren't a couple, then? Because I kinda understood it like that at first.”

Misha laughs as if that was the most surreal thought Jensen could've come up with. “No, we aren't.”

“Yeah, I,” Jensen clears his throat, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Don't get me wrong here, I meant no offense. I guess it'd be very difficult having a relationship up here, with a colleague.”

With a click of his tongue, Misha grins. “You could say that. Which is why I'm glad that Chad and Sophia are on their way home.”

That makes Jensen perk up from where he was studying Italy flying by at 28,000 kilometers per hour. “They were an item?”

“Some days. Some days not. After Chad tried to hook up with her – and let me tell you, this space station isn't big enough to ignore him completely – and she gave in about six weeks later, it was an on and off type of relationship that drove everybody nuts. Not that we didn't like Chad or Sophia respectively, we all worked great as a team, but if those two had spent one more day cooped up here with each other...” Misha breaks off to shake his head.

Jensen gets it more than he wants to let on, so he just says. “I can imagine. I mean, up here, just six people being cooped up for months, you must either get cabin fever or Big Brother syndrome.”

“Big Brother syndrome?” Misha asks, squinting with confusion.

“Uh,” Jensen scratches the back of his neck. “You know, from the TV show Big Brother. People seemingly falling in love with each other or hooking up because they admire that person and have a limited social circle while living in a limited living environment with total strangers. And so they make bad choices because they have no concept of reality.”

“Definitely that,” Misha agrees. “Although I doubt those two would've worked down on earth, anyway.”

Jensen chuckles, then silence spreads between them, but it's far from uncomfortable.

“I think I might like you,” Misha says after a while with a forlorn look into space – literally.

Jensen starts laughing out of reflex. “Right back at you.”

***  
  


Life on the station takes some getting used to. There's velcro and tape everywhere to stick stuff to the racks on the wall, in order not to lose it and have to search for it in the air vents, and Jensen definitely has to get used to entering Node 3 – Tranquility, as it's called – and seeing someone strapped to the treadmill, running, tilted at a ninety degree angle. It's strange, but also kind of funny if someone else is doing the weight-lifting with the help of the hydraulics system behind the treadmill, and who is basically upside-down.

There's also the fact that you pee into a hose, and the urine is filtered and cleaned by the station's system, and returns as drinkable water from the water dispensers. Jensen's over that pretty quickly. The food is a bit different, but definitely not the worst he has ever had.

Daily sponge baths aren't as impractical as they might seem, but Jensen decides to go for a bald head in favor of having to wash his hair every day. It's a neat trick, even though he feels kind of naked after Danni is done with him.

“Man, that looks strange,” she says scrunching up her nose and looking adorable in the process. “Please let it grow out again.”

“Well, it was worth a shot,” he grins and shrugs, then runs his hand over his strangely smooth head.

“Once-in-a-lifetime experiment, rather,” Danneel shakes her head, which makes her ponytail drift from left to right where it's already standing upright. When she runs her fingertips over his head, too, and meets Jensen's hand, she doesn't pull away. “No, please don't do that ever again. You were so handsome with your hair.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jensen chuckles, a bit embarrassed, as he retrieves his hand.

It only gets worse once Mark and Osric see him and laugh for ten minutes straight.

Jensen just rolls his eyes.

He has known Osric and Mark for months now. They trained together at the ESA center in Cologne, Germany, and at the NASA Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral. They're allowed to make fun of him.

When Danneel returns home in three months, Mark will be the next long-term astronaut on the ISS to follow in her footsteps. Osric is a bit of a Duracell bunny, but a wunderkind nonetheless. MIT student at age fifteen and with a PhD in physics at twenty-one. There should've been a Russian cosmonaut in his place who pulled back from the mission for personal reasons, which is why Osric is here at all. He's been incredibly lucky, but the refreshing part is that he's very aware of that.

As for Yuri, Jensen pretty much has formed his opinion about him by the second day on the station. Misha is considering how they can repair one of the non-pressurized modules with the robotic arm, and uses the words, “It's gonna be a tight fit and you're gonna have to be careful.”

Which is followed by the first time Jensen ever hears Yuri speak. “That's what she said,” he deadpans in a thick Russian accent, and after recovering from the fact that yes, Yuri does speak, every single one of them breaks out into loud laughter.

It's only the first time in a series of Yuri catching everyone off guard with his dry humor. Misha's is very similar to his, and when they start chatting in Russian, they have lengthy  conversations that no one can follow. 

Danneel is just a pleasure to be around. It doesn’t matter whether they're working on an experiment in the Columbus module – the European lab module – or if they're hanging out around the dinner table, all six of them, on Friday and Saturday nights to watch a movie. She laments the fact that they can't have beer on the station, misses barbecue like Jensen misses his dad's t-bone steak fresh from the grill, and she shares Jensen's humor in a way that would be creepy if it wasn't so perfect.

In another world, in another time, Jensen can see himself growing old with her.

Between experiments and work and warmed-up soup in a plastic bag, Jensen knows exactly what he doesn't want, though, and that is another relationship at work.

Once bitten, twice shy, and not ashamed of it.

***  
  
“Hey,” Danni greets him as Jensen is right in the middle of stepping into the bottom half of his space suit with a little help from Misha. “You ready for your first spacewalk?”

“Almost,” Jensen returns her smile. “We just gotta fix the bottom part and then--”

Misha scolds him with a sharp look. “Stop being so impatient. We have to test the systems and the pressure, and... just, let me do my work here.”

Danni shoots a sympathetic smile his way, and Jensen has to grin. He's nervous, and he's going to be in open space soon, in his very own mini-spaceship, since that's what the suits are. Geez, he's going to be in space. Like, space. The real thing. He's almost shaking he's so excited and looking forward to this.

Danni watches from the hatch to the airlock as Misha fastens and locks the parts of the space suit, checks the connections to the hands and feet, and eventually pulls out the helmet to put it over Jensen's head.

“Wait,” Danneel interrupts them, then floats down towards the two of them.

Jensen looks at her, then at Misha, then back at her in confusion. Only when she smiles and leans in to give him a quick kiss on his cheek, Jensen _knows_. He just knows.

“For good luck,” she beams with her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Thanks,” Jensen ducks his head.

“Take care and return to us in one piece, alright? We need you here, Ackles,” she winks over her shoulder, then pulls herself out of the airlock by a handrail.

Misha smirks.

“Stop that, please,” Jensen begs him with a pained expression. To say he's not thrilled by the current change in things would be an understatement.

“Aw, come on. It's sweet,” Misha says, nudging Jensen into the side of his space suit.

Jensen doesn't feel a thing, and he doesn't want to talk about it until he's had the peace of mind to think about all of this. Rushing into things, one way or the other, is never good, never Jensen's favorite way.

So he just shakes his head, lets Misha do what he needs to do. Then the helmet closes, he's switched to onboard power and oxygen, and that's it for the next ten hours. The suit makes Jensen feel like the marshmallow man.

He waits in the airlock, listens to Misha giving commands via the intercom, wallows in his thoughts.

Only a sharp, “Airlock open!” breaks him out of his stupor.

Because right there, in front of him, are millions of stars, the unreachable depths of space, and the blue, blue earth high above him. It's breathtaking.

Jensen pushes off the metal airlock and drifts out into space, stares and wonders. The ISS looks impressive and enormous from here, but it seems to stay still as Jensen takes it all in.

He's completely and utterly in awe at the magnificent sight of the ISS, flying high over the ever spinning earth. This moment, Jensen knows, will change his life forever.

“Jensen, you in there?” Misha's amused, tinny voice interrupts Jensen's thoughts.

“I... yeah. I mean, confirmed.”

Misha laughs. “I see. Now, as we discussed, Osric will get the robotic arm to your position, and you just need to hop on. Alright?”

“Positive,” Jensen nods to himself, then drifts towards the Canadarm2, named after the robotic arms of the Space Shuttles, which in turn were named after their Canadian producer.

Jensen finishes his mission – minor repairs on the outside of the station, and the installment of a biomagnetic scanner – which means he has basically ten hours to stew in his own juices, without anyone to talk to.

And by god, does he stew in his juices.

The thing is, Jensen knows Danneel is crushing on him. Has suspected it for a while now. But as much as he likes her, he can't do this. Not here, not like this, maybe not ever. Jensen also knows he shouldn't lead her on.

Which makes him think of Monica and dear lord, he is not in the mood for this shit again. Plus, it's not fair to Danneel, since she doesn't know the premise of his problems.

The premise that means Jensen won't ever date someone from his workplace ever again.

And the image of Monica glaring at him is as far as he allows the memory to cloud his vision.

***  
  
After the airlock is pressurized and the inner door swings open, Jensen finds both Misha and Danneel grinning at him.

They pull him into the station and while Misha starts to loosen his helmet, Danneel goes to detach the lower half of his suit from the upper, all the while smiling ten-megawatt-smiles. Both of them.

“I'm happy to see you, too,” Jensen coughs when he's free, more joke than innuendo.

“I bet,” Danneel snorts, then leans forward to help Misha with the upper part of Jensen's spacesuit. She's right there, right in his personal space, looking hopeful and so hot that Jensen feels his body react and want and god, no. Just no.

“Danni, you and I need to talk,” Jensen presses out between clenched teeth.

Her face falls, but Jensen tries to ignore it. Without success.

“Alright, dinner's in half an hour,” Misha says with a heavy tone before he leaves them alone.

“Jen?” Danni prompts, her head tilted to the side, looking curious and like she's bracing herself for the words that are to come.

“Danni,” Jensen starts, deliberate and slow, locking eyes with her. “I know what's happening here. I know what's happening to you and believe me, I'm not unaffected either. But--” he takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “It's not gonna happen. I'm sorry, I am, and it's not you, it's me. Mixing work with pleasure, it's never ended well for me, and I promised myself I wouldn't let it happen again. Especially here, canned up at the station. So will you do me the favor and just... be my friend?”

Danneel's posture has fallen during Jensen's little speech, but she nods without looking at him. “I guess I can do that.”

“Because I really like you, I do,” Jensen tries to reassure her and places both hands onto her shoulders. She's shaking, and Jensen really wants to hug her, but he also doesn't want to give her the wrong idea.

“Yeah, I... me too,” she stutters, then looks up at him with a sad, tiny smile. Then she reaches out to pull him into her arms, and it's alright.

“That's it, we're good?”

Danneel nods against his shoulder. “We're good.”

***  
  
The first few days after that are awkward. Since everybody noticed what was going on, everybody also walks on eggshells around them for a while.

When they work in Columbus, Jensen tries to keep up a normal conversation, but Danneel seems hesitant towards him. It takes her a bit to fall back into their usual friendly banter, but once she comes around, everything is back to normal.

One evening , when they're lounging around in the Unity module, watching the remake of “Friday the 13 th” , everybody drifting around lazily,  Danneel ends up with her arms around Jensen. The thing is, it's just for comfort. Some human touch in this warped reality feels good for both of them, and they indulge in it, until Misha jumps into their arms and declares it group cuddle time.

Osric is almost choked in the middle of all of them and Mark almost smashes the laptop on the wall, but other than that, everything is fine. Plus, they can't stop laughing for a good ten minutes.

And it's alright.

After a few more weeks, Jensen's hair has grown out enough to need some trimming at the sides and at the back of his head, and Danneel is once again the one to cut it for him.

She jokes and laughs and gently pats his head afterwards and it's all so normal that Jensen has all but forgotten about her unrequited crush.

“You know,” Misha startles Jensen later that day, when he's sitting in Cupola and watching the earth. “You'd have made a cute couple.”

Jensen shakes his head. “Thanks, but... it doesn't matter. It's better this way.”

“You're not secretly gay or something?” Misha nudges him with a mischievous grin as he sits against one of the handlebars in the observation deck. The question makes Jensen quite flustered, since it's Misha – with his sharp blue eyes and a set of very kissable lips.

“Actually, I'm bisexual,” Jensen smiles lopsided.

Misha nods, the grin still firmly in place. “That so,” he says.

Jensen shrugs. “Still, it doesn't matter. There are some things you shouldn't do in a workplace that you can't leave for the next six months.”

“It's only one more week for Dee,” Misha replies. “Then she's going home.”

“Yeah.”

“I'll miss her,” Misha sighs.

“Me too,” Jensen nods.

Misha assesses him with a sharp look, half serious, half teasing. “As a friend, or...?”

“As a friend,” Jensen hurries to say.

“A-huh.”

With one eyebrow raised high on his forehead, Jensen turns fully towards him. “Listen, are you trying to play matchmaker here? Because if you are, I'd rather you didn't.”

“No,” Misha denies a bit too quickly, then hesitates at Jensen's critical gaze. “Okay, yeah, a bit. It's just... you're my friends. I'd like to see you happy. And why deny yourself a good thing when it's right in front of you?”

“There are reasons, alright? Let's just leave it at that.”

“Whatever you say,” Misha raises his hands defensively. “Just wanted to ask.”

Jensen turns away and looks at Australia flying by.

“So, crew changeover in a week,” Jensen says. “You heard anything yet?”

“Yes, I did,” Misha nods. “Two guys, one woman. The names are Genevieve and Jared, the third one is some tourist who'll stay with us for three days, then go back home with Yuri and Dee.”

Jensen nods. “So what do they do?”

“Genevieve Cortese is from France. You two will have a lot to do with each other, since she's a microbiologist, just like Dee. Jared Padalecki hails from the US and is an astrophysicist. Both are about our age.”

“And our tourie?”

“You don't want to know,” Misha says and rolls his eyes. “Just prepare for a lot of screaming and excited what's-this-and-what's-thats.”

Jensen laughs. “Relax, Mish, it's gonna be fine.”

“Says you.”

“Yep,” Jensen slaps his hand onto Misha's shoulder, then heads for the dinner table.

***  
  
On June 18th, 2015, the Soyuz TMA-18M mission starts from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. It's the 127th manned mission of the Russian space program.

On board of the Soyuz ship are a microbiologist, an astrophysicist and a space tourist. The launch of the rocket is as uneventful as it gets – everything works as expected, and the Soyuz capsule docks onto the service module of the ISS on June, 19th.

The crew of the ISS head for the hatch to welcome their three new passengers, and for the upcoming three days, the station will be crowded. Mostly, they're happy to see new faces. So when the hatch to the Soyuz opens, Misha – as their commander – first helps out their tourist, some rich guy from California that no one's ever heard of. Genevieve is a tiny person, barely reaches Jensen's shoulder, but her smile is wide and her handshake is firm.

“Dr. Ackles, I assume?” she asks while hugging him.

“Jensen is fine, Dr. Cortese,” he replies easily.

“Genevieve,” she offers, then laughs. “I guess we have to look out for the nicknames people call us by. If it's Gen and Jen, we're gonna have a problem.”

“Nah, most people just call me Jensen. Except for Misha.”

“Misha?”

“Commander Krushnic. No one calls him that,” Jensen chuckles and points at Misha, who just finished welcoming their tourist.

Genevieve nods and moves on to him.

However, nothing could've prepared Jensen for what was to come.

Behind Genevieve, a guy roughly about double the size of Genevieve makes his way through the hatch. Jensen takes in the thick, muscular arms, broad shoulders, and a shoulder-to-waist-ratio to die for. Still, the whole picture is ruined by brown hair that would've been shoulder-length under normal gravitation, but now stands up in all directions, floating in zero-g.

Jensen bites the inside of his cheek so he doesn't start laughing.

“Hey! Nice to meet you. I'm Jared,” the guy says and holds out his hand for Jensen to shake.

It's a big hand with thick fingers that dwarfs Jensen's when it wraps around his fingers. Then he gets engulfed by those huge hands and strong arms and is trying not to let on how swept off his feet he feels.

“Jensen,” he manages to get out, feeling flustered. “Nice to meet you, too. You, uh. Might wanna tie your hair together.”

“What?” Jared says shocked, then reaches up to see what's up with his hair, and his face falls when he notices. “Oh. I look like I stuck my finger into a power socket, don't I.”

It's not a question, and Jensen can't help but start laughing this time. It bubbles right out of him, unstoppable and gleeful, and Jared falls into it after a second's hesitation.

“Here,” Danneel says from beside Jensen, and holds up an elastic hair band to Jared. “By the way, hi, I'm Danneel.”

“Thank you, Danneel, you are my savior,” Jared tries to bow to her as much as floating in space allows him, but eventually just hugs her hello, too, then takes the proffered hair band. After taming his hair, Jared sports an adorable stubby ponytail on the back of his head.

It looks kind of cute, and Jensen finds himself snorting out another laugh.

That's when Jared's hazel-blue-something eyes lock with his, an amused spark in them, plus something that makes Jensen's mouth go dry. They share a smile that seems too intimate for two guys who just met, and Jensen already feels a connection to Jared.

“Glad to have you on board,” Danneel throws in from beside them, her eyes flicking from Jared to Jensen and back, and Jensen might have imagined it, but her smile seems a tad bit sad now.

The moment is interrupted – and thank god for that – by Osric, who bursts right through Danneel and Jensen and jumps into Jared's arms.

“Jay!” he shouts in delight. “Man, it's good to see you!”

Jared laughs as he pats Osric's back. “Os, I'm glad to have ya back, too, but man, you’re gonna make'em think we're a couple or something.”

“Aren't we?” Osric grins and kisses Jared's cheek before they both burst into hysterical laughter.

Jensen watches the whole exchange somewhat baffled and surprised.

When Jared's eyes land on him again, he clears his throat, feeling embarrassed at being caught staring.

“Osric and I went to college together,” Jared explains with a wink.

“I see,” Jensen smiles to relieve the tension in the air, even though he has no idea where that just came from. “Hey, how about we take you on the tour? And where's Genevieve, she can come with, too.”

“She's off with Misha and whatshisface, probably doing just that,” Danneel shrugs.

So they show Jared around the station. He seems to soak up all the information he's given like a sponge, asking little things here and there, but generally looking like a kid on a school trip, wide-eyed and in awe. Jensen lets Danni and Osric do most of the talking and just follows them around.

Jared becomes quiet after about half an hour. His face is a lot paler than what seems healthy.

“Jared, are you alright?” Jensen asks him with a hand on his shoulder.

Jared shakes his head no.

“Let me guess, feeling sick?”

That gets another shake, yes, and Jensen doesn't need to see it to open a rack a few feet down the wall, pull out a barf bag and hand it to Jared. Jared immediately empties his stomach into it.

Osric pats Jared's back to soothe him while Jensen keeps up a running commentary. “It's pretty common, you know, your stomach's not used to your food flying around in there. A lot of people get sick when they come up here. I mean, Osric for example, he had that problem for three days until he could keep anything down. It'll pass, you'll get used to it.”

Jared finishes throwing up his lunch from before the rocket launch and wipes his mouth with the paper towel attached to the plastic bag. He eyes the construction of it, confused, until Jensen takes it from his hands, stuffs the paper towel in and ziplocks the bag.

“That goes into the wet trash and then into the next Progress,” he states unceremoniously. “You feeling better? Need some water?”

“Yes please,” Jared says, then clears his throat.

Danneel grabs for a plastic water bag that they stash beside the food cupboard and flicks it towards Jensen. Jensen busies himself by quickly filling it with some water from the dispenser, then explains how the straw works to Jared, even though he probably knows that already.

“You gotta lock the bag or else you'll have water everywhere soon,” Jensen pushes the button on the straw. “See? Now it's open.”

Jared takes a few sips, then chuckles. “Embarrassing myself not even thirty minutes after arriving, that's typical for me.”

“Don't worry about it, we all had our moments,” Osric consoles him. “I mean, Jensen managed to spill spinach all over the service module a couple days after we got here. That was messy. Also hilarious.”

“And they let me clean everything by myself after they stopped laughing at me,” Jensen grumbles and glares at Osric. “Spinach is a bitch to get out of velcro, lemme tell ya.”

Jared eyes him curiously. “You're from Texas, right?”

Jensen nods and grins at him, because he's done his research, too. “Raised in Dallas, now living in Austin. And you're from Austin, too.”

“Oh God,” Danneel sighs overly dramatic. “That can't end well.”

Jared's eyes find Jensen's, and for a few seconds, they share a long look at each other.

“Y'all'll hafta get used to it,” Jared drawls with a lazy grin.

Jensen is suddenly, inexplicably hard in his pants, but tries to ignore that fact without success.

***  
  
The first night is a bit cramped, what with three of them having to sleep in provisional beds – sleeping bags placed in convenient nooks and crannies – and Jensen is glad that he's got his bunk.

When his alarm clock wakes him at 7 a.m., Jensen forces himself out into the silence of the station. He likes to be the first one with coffee in his hands, in order to not be the 'breakfast grinch' – Danneel's words, not his.

So when Jensen does the zero-g equivalent of dragging his feet towards the Unity module, the last thing he expects to see is anyone else already up, much less Jared taking his daily sponge bath in the Tranquility module. Completely naked.

Jensen promptly pushes himself away from the table to float backwards and look into the adjoining module.

“Jared?” he asks, his voice still raspy.

Which makes Jared look, then turn around and Jensen ends up with Jared full-frontal before breakfast and before his first coffee.

“Morning, Jensen!” Jared smiles as if he isn't just giving Jensen an eyeful.

“Why are you naked?” Jensen manages to cough.

Jared meets his inquiring gaze with an innocent shrug. “'cause I'm washing up.”

“Why... now?”

“Just finished my workout, so I didn't want to sit at breakfast all sweaty, is all.”

Jensen points at the toilet cabin right beside Jared. “We got a thing for that, y'know.”

“Misha's been in there for like half an hour,” Jared explains with a roll of his eyes, then focuses back on Jensen. “Hey, I'm sorry, it's not like I don't have any modesty, but it was gross and I figured... this is all a bit like camp back in school, but we're all adults and all that.”

“Yeah, probably, I mean,” Jensen stutters, then shakes his head. “Nothing I haven't seen before, but... I just wanna... what if one of the girls sees you. You don't want to give them the wrong idea, y'know.”

“I guess not,” Jared agrees with a sudden, easy smile and turns away to wrap a towel around his slim hips.

Jensen doesn't stare. He swallows down any comment on the matter and leaves to get himself a nice big bag of hot, strong coffee.

Still, his day is still very much compromised by that image, in a not entirely bad way.

***  
  
The Soyuz is loaded, the crew is in their pressure suits, and it's time to say goodbye.

Not that anyone is sad to see Bryan, resident space tourist and a pain in their ass, leave, and he does so with a handshake for everyone.

Saying goodbye to Yuri and Danneel, however, is a lot harder.

Yuri gives Jensen a one-harmed hug with a friendly pat on the back. “Take care,” is all he says, in his typical accent, his eyes shining a bit glassily. They've become good friends over the past  months .

“You too,” Jensen answers, and then there's Danneel, right in front of him.

Without hesitating, he hugs her tight, and if she clings to his neck for a moment too long. Jensen doesn't mind.

“So, what if I asked you,” she starts with an embarrassed smile and a blush high on her cheeks, talking quietly so it's only between the two of them. “If you wanted to see me again when you're back home. Would this, us, still be off limits?”

It almost breaks Jensen's heart to nod, but he squeezes her hand in apology. “I'm sorry.”

“It's alright,” Danneel mutters. “Well, I couldn't go without asking. I'd have hated myself if I didn’t.”

“I understand,” Jensen insists, feeling heartbroken for her.

Danneel smiles sadly at him, then wraps both arms around his neck and kisses his cheek. Jensen lets her, just cradles her in his arms and lets his hand run down her ponytail.

She chuckles. “Stop that. Go play with Jared's ponytail or something.”

“Maybe I will,” Jensen answers, can't help but shoot her a last, fond smile as he sees her companions take their place in the Soyuz. On impulse, he leans down and kisses her forehead. “Have a safe trip, Commander Harris.”

Danneel tips her imaginary hat and disappears into the space ship.

“You want to do the honors?” Misha asks from beside Jensen, the old ship bell in his hand.

Jensen takes it with a grateful nod and rings them off.

***  
  
“Hey,” Jared says when he interrupts Jensen's daily observation routine in Cupola. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Jensen answers, lost in thought.

“You miss her, I know, but... we're gonna get back down there one day, too.”

“Sure, but she was my friend, you know.”

Jared nods. “Um, can I ask... no, forget it,” he mumbles, then rubs his huge palm over his face.

“What? Spit it out. Can't start a sentence like that and not finish it,” Jensen prompts him with a smile.

“I... Are you sure? It's pretty personal,” Jared tries to derail the conversation.

“Try me.”

Jared takes a deep breath, his chest expanding and deflating in a manner that shouldn't be as sexual as it seems. Not that Jensen has had much interest in his own gender lately, but he can appreciate a good-looking guy. And God, does he appreciate Jared.

“I wanted to ask if there was... I mean, it seemed like you two, were like, you know.”

“Oh, we weren't,” Jensen denies quick as a shot. He thought as much. “I mean, there were feelings. It was a problem, because at first she thought we could and I thought that this is not the place, so. No, we weren't.”

Jared nods, his eyes not having shifted from Jensen at all. Then he lets out a deep sigh.

Jensen has no idea what to think of any of it.

***  
  
Genevieve and Jared settle in soon enough.

To Jensen's complete and utter joy, they brought an espresso machine  up to the ISS during their mission, so he can drink actual coffee for the first time in over three months. It doesn't look like an espresso machine at all, since it's been converted to work in a zero-g environment, but it does brew some of the most delicious coffee Jensen has ever had.

He's not ashamed to let out a moan that borders on pornographic after his first sip.

“Wow, that good?” Jared chuckles and nudges Jensen's side. His grin is warm and friendly and Jensen returns it from the bottom of his heart.

“I'm in heaven,” Jensen sighs.

“Literally.”

“Yes. You should try it, it's really good coffee,” Jensen points at the machine that Osric currently occupies.

“Oh, I'm sure, judging by your groan just now,” Jared replies, a cheeky wink marking the tease as such.

Jensen feels his cheeks go warm and turns away. “Anyway, I'm... I'll see you in the lab!”

He's fleeing, he knows it, even though he can't put his finger on what he's fleeing from.

***  
  
A week later, Jensen is on the line with NASA when the director interrupts.

A too-familiar voice sounds through the speakers of his laptop. “Mr. Jones wants to speak to Dr. Ackles,” it says. “I'll put him through.”

Jensen winces and rubs his hand over his eyes, then shakes the weird feeling off. No time for that now.

“Mr. Jones,” he greets the director, nodding his head.

The NASA director looks as serious and sour as always as he looks into the camera. “Mr. Ackles, good to see you. I hear everything is fine after the crew changeover?”

“Positive, Sir.”

“Good. Because I have a proposition to make, one I think you'll like.”

Jensen nods, then waits for the few seconds of lag that always draw out conversations with ground control.

“As one of our PR events, I'd like you to do a weekly Q & A with students from all over the earth. It's going to be live and unscripted,” Jones explains. “You're also free to do your own videos to fill in the gaps, of course. It's all a test to make our YouTube channel more attractive.”

Jensen nods again.

“Now, you don't have to do these alone. Choose a partner, someone you cooperate with on a daily basis and have good faith in. Also someone who complements both your character and your scientific field. We want this to be entertaining.”

Jensen mentally goes through their whole crew. Another biologist, like Gen, is out of the question. A technology genius like Osric would be fun, but Jensen can't imagine running a long-time series of videos with him. Osric is too much like him in that sense, very logical and scientific in his thinking. Misha is a mission specialist, which is a good load of astronomical knowledge and some technology and engineering. Jensen likes him, a lot, but isn't sure that their videos wouldn't end up as a total trainwreck. Nothing he could present to the NASA.

And Mark... he just doesn't have much in common with the mathematics professor.

Jared it is. Astrophysicist and funny, which is kind of perfect.

“I choose Jared Padalecki,” Jensen announces, and Jones confirms it with a nod.

“First chat is scheduled for the day after tomorrow. We got a high school from Colorado that's excited as hell.”

“Will the questions be monitored in any way?” Jensen inquires.

“No. Just try to answer honestly and genuinely. They're kids, what could possibly go wrong?”

***  
  
“First Q & A with J & J,” Jared would bounce on his feet if he could, and Jensen finds himself thinking that it's kind of endearing.

If Jared wasn't six-foot-four and a grown-ass man, that is.

“Hey, that rhymes,” Jared seems to only have picked that up three seconds after saying it aloud.

“Let's go with that,” Jensen nods at him. “Sounds awesome. Alright, so we're online in a few.”

“Jen?” Jared prompts, turning towards him to offer his fist. “Let's do this.”

Jensen bumps it like they're both five-year-olds, complete with an exploding motion.

“Hello, station,” the communication officer's voice interrupts them. “You're online.”

“Hello,” Jared waves at the camera.

“Do you hear me?”

Jensen nods. “We hear you loud and clear.”

“Nice fistbump, by the way,” the guy chuckles.

“Oh, was that already...” Jared drifts off and scratches the back of his neck.

“Online, yeah. Don't worry. It's a good introduction. Say hello to the sophomore class of James Woods high school, Colorado!”

Thirty excited faces grin at them from the ranks of NASA's auditorium.

“Hi guys!” Jared grins back and Jensen waves. “My name is Dr. Jared Padalecki, I'm from Austin, Texas--”

“And I'm Dr. Jensen Ackles, also from Austin, Texas,” Jensen finishes his sentence and doesn't feel half as dorky as he probably should. “Today, we got about an hour for you to ask us all the questions you always wanted to ask about life in space.”

“So have at it! We're ready!” Jared adds and lets the microphone drift in front of them.

“Hello, my name is Michael and I'm sixteen. I'd like to know how you don't lose anything on board the ISS?”

“Good question,” Jensen nods, then points at code on the side of their microphone. “See this? That's a barcode. And here--” he reaches upwards and pulls the scanner from the ceiling, “is the barcode scanner. So wherever we take something from one end of the station to the other, we scan it so we know where it is.”

“It’s awesome,” Jared says, grabbing the mike with his huge hand sprawled out over Jensen's smaller one, “Because some of us are prone to losing stuff so this really comes in handy.”

“By which you mean yourself,” Jensen teases to cover his own, sudden nervousness at having Jared so close to him, practically holding hands in front of a room full of teenagers.

Jared shrugs and grins at him, wide and carefree, the kind of grin that makes Jensen forgive him anything, even eating the last of his favorite dried spaghetti.

After the next couple questions – about showering in space and how they get their movies and what they eat for breakfast – it gets easier. Jensen feels himself loosen up in Jared's presence, which isn't hard ,  even though Jared easily occupies half the space they have, standing beside each other in Columbus. It anchors Jensen, in a way, makes him feel safe, like he could  always hide behind Jared's taller frame if need be.

Jared gestures and he grins and flips around if necessary to explain stuff, and Jensen is really glad to have chosen him, because Jared is thriving on this experience.

One of the questions is, when and how they decided to become astronauts.

“Well,” Jensen starts. “That's a long story. Obviously, we're scientists first and foremost, but back when I was little, I was completely infatuated with the Space Shuttle program. I watched every start and tracked the missions--”

Jared interrupts him with a laugh. “Man, me too! I was so sad when they retired the fleet, I really wanted to fly with one of the shuttles.”

“Yeah, and you see,” Jensen grins, then continues towards the camera, “We grew up in Texas. The Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center in Houston isn't far, so of course we were there as kids. It was fascinating, seeing the old Saturn and Apollo rockets. And back then, the Space Shuttle program was brand new and exciting.”

It ends with them gushing about the Space Shuttles for at least ten minutes and in the end grinning at each other. Jensen files it under the long list of things that they have in common.

“Do you have any candy in space?” a girl wants to know next, and Jared is already opening his mouth when Jensen interrupts him.

“Do I have candy? Yes. Do I get to eat it? No. The second Jared sees candy, it's gone,” he mock-glares at Jared beside him.

“Hey, I apologized for eating your rainbow twizzlers, but c'mon, they were _rainbow twizzlers_ ,” Jared emphasizes, grabbing Jensen's shoulder on instinct.

“And I'm just teasing,” Jensen replies with a wink.

“Right.”

Jensen lifts his chin to look at Jared, access him, take him all in. Not a good idea in front of a camera, he notices, because those eyes are pulling him in and never letting him go.

“Anyway,” Jared breaks their moment with an amused spark in his eyes. “Yes, we have candy. It's called bonus food, and we get it in boxes with the Progress or Dragon supply ships. Those are unmanned vehicles which are launched by Soyuz rockets from Kazakhstan or with a Falcon-9 rocket from the US, and they bring us supplies on a regular basis.”

Jensen nods. “So our family can send us our favorite chocolate, for example. And you can't eat it all at once, since then you won't have any for the next couple months, like we won't have any rainbow twizzlers on board until the next supplies arrive.”

“Now I'm feeling bad,” Jared pouts, then wraps both arms around Jensen from the side. “I'm sorry, Jen.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jensen pats his back, but can't help but smile. “I'll just hide them better next time.”

“You do that.”

“Now lemme go, sasquatch,” Jensen laughs, and Jared pulls back to share a heartfelt smile with him. He's close, almost too close, their noses almost in range to – and Jensen makes his brain lose the train of thought. He's not going there.

Jared has the audacity to still pout and make puppy dog eyes at him. “But I'm sorry.”

“I know. It's alright, no big deal.”

“Candy is always a big deal. I'll make it up to you.”

“By letting me go?”

Jared drops his hands and grins first at Jensen, then into the camera.

Jensen thinks that maybe this whole thing was a good idea, but he's not fully decided yet. He also doesn't know when the lack of personal space around Jared stopped bothering him.

 

Zarya – _Aurora, Red Sky Glow, Sunrise_ (Russian); first module of the ISS to be launched in 1998. Also known as Functional Cargo Block (FCB), it has been used for storage since the initial assembly of the space station was finished.

***

“Hey, J-squared,” Osric calls from somewhere down in the Japanese module Kibo.

“He mean us?” Jared cocks an eyebrow and shoots a confused look at Jensen.

Jensen shrugs and yells, “Yeah?”

“Jones wants to speak to you!”

“Huh,” Jared says and swings himself down to Columbus on the handrails and bungee straps.

Jensen follows him wordlessly.

“Sir?” they both ask at the same time when they step in front of the camera.

“Dr. Ackles, Dr. Padalecki,” Jones nods. “Good to see you again. I wanted to talk to you about your Q & A sessions.”

“Yes?” Jensen asks, impatient and curious.

“Well, let me say that NASA's YouTube channel hasn't had that many hits on a single video in its existence. Please continue. We'll phone in once a week, on a certain time, and keep this going. The kids love you.”

“That's... great, thank you,” Jared is barely managing not to flip out and Jensen knows it. It's kind of funny to see him trying to keep his cool and failing hilariously.

Jensen nods and thanks the NASA director, too, who then adds, “You also might want to check the comments on your video to see what people are interested in. Have fun!”

And with that, he ends the call.

Jared is ecstatic. He literally bounces from the walls.

“Dude, calm down,” Jensen laughs.

“Can't!” Jared exclaims, grinning at Jensen upside-down.

“You're acting like we're on a TV show and we just got renewed,” Jensen shakes his head, but can't help but grin. Jared's mood is contagious.

“It has to feel something like this, I bet.”

Suddenly, Jared is all up in his personal space and throwing an arm around Jensen's shoulders. Jensen can feel his heat, can smell his deodorant and something uniquely _Jared_ , and almost drowns in the intensity of Jared's eyes.

“Hey, Jen, you okay?”

“Yeah, I... yeah.”

_No._

***  
  
Since that day, Jensen wakes up every day to find a bag of freshly brewed coffee taped to the outside of his bunk. It has exactly one spoonful of sugar in it and it tastes heavenly in the morning.

That's also why he's smiling every morning when he gets to his lab and his workstation and Jared and Genevieve, working there beside him.

Usually, there's a bright grin on Jared's face, and it hasn't taken Jensen long to figure out who taped coffee to his berth every day.

Jensen never tells Jared, but suspects that Jared knows he knows.

Just like the sweets that seem to wander off to Jared's bonus food box every so often. Jensen doesn't miss them anyway, and Jared's grin at finding another Hershey's Kiss in his box is way more satisfying than any chocolate could ever be.

The symbolism of it all is not lost on Jensen, but he decides to not over think it.

***

  
“Jen! Hey Jen!” Jared flies into the room like he's been stung by a bee, albeit a lot more cheerful.

“What?”

“I know what we can do for our first video outside of the Q & A series!” he announces, then pulls out a bag of chips from behind his bag, mile-wide smile on his face. “You thinking what I'm thinking?”

 _Aren't I always?_ Jensen thinks, but replies, “Simpsons?”

Jared whoops, then pulls Jensen into his arms on a whim. “I know why I like you.”

“Dork,” Jensen chuckles against Jared's shoulder. “Now we just need someone to film the whole thing.”

As it turns out, Genevieve not only volunteers, but beats everyone to the camera section.

“Rolling?” Jared asks from where he and Jensen are floating beside each other.

“Rolling!” Genevieve confirms.

“Hello, I'm Jared Padalecki, --”

“-- I'm Jensen Ackles and this is Jackass.”

“No, this is sh--”

“-- _stuff_ you can only do in space,” Jensen interrupts him with a grin.

Jared only nods and presents the bag of chips to the camera. “Well, here goes nothing,” he says, lets the bag float in mid-air, then reaches out to hit it with both hands at once, effectively blowing it up and spreading potato chips everywhere.

Then the unspoken battle of who will capture more potato chips than the other begins.

There's a lot of grappling each other, throwing each other around, Jared's paws are almost everywhere, and Jensen finds himself laughing too much to really rise up to the challenge.

“Done!” Misha, who has joined Genevieve, announces some time later. “Jared has once again proven that he has the bigger mouth.”

Jared throws his hands into the air, then looks Misha dead in the eye and says, “Everything's bigger in Texas, if you know what I mean. Right, Jensen?”

Jensen laughs so hard he makes an involuntary back flip.

***  
  
For Jared's birthday, NASA somehow manages to send a Progress re-supply ship right on time so it can deliver actual cake.

They celebrate in the Unity module, Jared with a birthday hat on his head, grinning from ear to ear.

After they sing him Happy Birthday, Jared hugs them all. “This is so great, thank you so much. How did you even get cake up here?”

“As far as I know,” Misha smirks at Jensen. “Our co-commander may or not have requested some for this particular Progress flight.”

Jared turns to Jensen, too, and smiles with an intensity that has shivers running down Jensen's spine. “Thanks, Jen.”

“You're welcome,” Jensen nods, feeling embarrassed and like he's two decades too old for this.

***  
  
For a while, they use their spare time between experiments to do silly videos and the Q & A, and Jensen becomes used to it sooner than he thinks. Jared makes it easy, though.

Jensen enjoys his company so much that it sometimes scares him, and he makes himself think of something else.

Their viewers seem to love them a lot, at least judged by the comments they leave on their videos.

So, when during a Q & A some six weeks later, the question “Aren't you getting cabin fever up there?” is asked, Jensen doesn't think much of it.

“Sometimes,” he answers, “but it's generally a lot like being in a tour bus, spending time on the road with your buddies....”

“Probably have someone run around naked every once in a while,” Jared throws in.

“Hey, that was you, mister, and it was one time,” Jensen points at him to emphasize his point.

To which Jared laughs, his full belly head-thrown-back guttural laugh that makes the tips of Jensen's fingers tingle with the need to touch. “Jen, the sentences that end with that phrase usually lead up to the funniest stories.”

“You saw Dr. Padalecki naked?” the girl from some high school in Connecticut almost squeals.

Jensen throws a questioning look at Jared who nods. “Go ahead.”

“Fine. Yes, I did. It was his fault--”

“Misha's!” Jared defended himself.

“Anyway, thing is, Misha blocked the sanitary box, so he washed up right beside our dinner table--”

“It was the Node 3 module, that's like 90 degrees around the corner from Unity!”

“-- and I just tried to get breakfast. Anyway, it was only one time. You know, in hindsight, it was funny as hell,” Jensen grins into the camera.

The girl almost faints as she exits the screen and Jensen is hit with a thought.

Beside the haters that will always be around, since it's YouTube, they have a lot of regular viewers that enjoy their videos immensely. Among those, there also seem to be some fans who are deeply invested in their personal relationship. They want to play matchmaker, want them to kiss for the camera, or undress and make out – it's all really strange to Jensen. But those are only a few and the rest are genuinely entertained by their content, so Jensen tried to ignore it.

Jensen looks at Jared, meets his eyes as they seem to have the same thought at the same time. For a second, Jensen finds his gaze drifting to Jared's lips, his mind wondering how they'd feel on his, before his brain kicks him back into work and to the next question.

From Jared's guilty look, Jensen can easily see that they had both been thinking about it.

***  
  
It's on a Wednesday when Jensen is busy fixing one of the Melfies, the freezers, with Osric while humming along to Taylor Swift, when Jared calls, “Hey, Jen! Heads up!”

And when Jensen looks over, he finds a red Skittles thrown his way, floating towards him. He opens his mouth to catch it, but Osric plucks it out of mid-air right in front of him.

“Thanks, Jare!” Osric eats it with a sly grin at Jensen.

Jensen mock-pouts and Jared laughs, which makes Jensen break into laughter, too, while Jared approaches with another handful of Skittles in his hand.

He gets all up in Jensen's space and pops the candy into Jensen's mouth, fingers brushing over Jensen's lips.

There's something simple and erotic about the inconspicuous move. Jensen feels his lips tingle where Jared's fingertips touched them, feels his skin prickle and warmth spreading on his cheeks.

Jared's smile wavers when he notices Jensen's discomfort, but Jensen returns an easy grin.

Whatever this is, he hasn't figured it out. It's friendship, sure, the kind that you find only once in a lifetime. The way he and Jared click – which has transported all the way to their regular viewers and subscribers – that's something special, and they both know it.

No surprise that people are seeing homoerotic subtext everywhere.

Jensen is glad that they haven't got a camera trained on them right now, and coughs to clear his throat.

“So, are you here for anything or just...” Jensen trails off, because he doesn't know why else Jared would interrupt their work.

“Just wanted to see you laugh, baby,” Jared winks.

Jensen eyes him incredulously, shakes his head. It happens so often with Jared. He just throws sentences and statements out there which make Jensen speechless, yet also like he'd laugh out loud any minute. And then there's the uncomfortable feeling in his chest, warning bells going off, constricting his breathing.

Things like these make him feel ridiculously excited and like he wants to hug the world all at once. It's scary, and Jensen can't explain it. Because it's Jared. Because Jensen knows what falling in love with a girl feels like, and this is not it. Because this is such a different level of friendship and trust, an obvious connection.

“Yeah, right,” Jensen manages to cough out some time after thinking this through and not coming to a conclusion. “Go do your work, Romeo.”

Jared smirks and tries to kiss Jensen's hand.

Jensen instead sticks his finger into Jared's nose and cackles as he splutters.

In the end, they're both laughing and Osric stands by, lost in the moment with a silly grin on his face, like he just made a groundbreaking scientific breakthrough.

***  
  
Three months pass by in a blur if you have as much fun as Jensen has had in his last three months on the space station. Before he knows what's happening, it's almost time to head home.

Jensen wouldn't even have noticed it, if Jared hadn't sighed one evening when they're both in the Cupola, and says, “Man, I can't believe you're going to be back down there in a week.”

“Yeah,” Jensen replies with a heavy heart. “Me neither.”

“And I'm still up here for another three months.”

Jensen nods, then forces his eyes away from the earth and focuses on Jared. His nose is scrunched up, and he looks sad.

“I'm sure you're excited to see your family again,” Jared says without looking at him.

“Yeah,” Jensen confirms, even though he needs to summon the thrill of anticipation. So he shakes his head. “I mean no. I kind of don't want to go.”

Jared turns towards him and gives him a weak smile. “I don't want you to go, either.”

“Dude, cut the cheese,” Jensen tries to lift the mood with an amused huff.

Jared snorts. “No, really. I'm serious, I'm gonna miss you, man.”

When their eyes meet over the short distance, Jensen feels his breath catch in his lungs. The following wave of so many emotions flooding his chest is almost too much to bear, but Jensen swallows them all, pushes them down, ignores them. No matter how hard it is, he can't allow himself to feel like this.

For once, he wraps his arms around Jared's middle and pulls him close for a hug. “Me too,” he whispers, so quiet he's not sure if Jared even heard it over the air ventilation buzzing.

Jared grabs his shoulders with both hands and holds him so tight that Jensen's stupid, treacherous heart begins to pound hard and fast. The hug lasts longer than strictly socially common, and they're both well aware of it, even when they pull back, but still float in each other's personal space. With a hopeful, tiny smile, Jared assesses him. He seems to think about something, seems to make a decision, then and there.

And when Jared's chin tilts up, Jensen knows what he decided.

“Jensen-” Jared starts, but Jensen interrupts him.

“Jay, don't,” he insists. “Let's not talk about this. Ever.”

“Why?”

“Because I know what you're gonna say, and trust me, you don't want to have this conversation.”

Jared swallows and averts his eyes. A blush rises on his face, and that's just not fair. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“Sorry,” Jensen nods.

They don't speak for a few long minutes after that. It's good, just awkward. And Jared's smile is a bit strained when he bids Jensen good night later. Jensen has to force a smile himself, but he manages it.

***  
  
“Good news, everyone!” Misha announces a day after that, at the breakfast table. “The gyroscope is broken.”

“I thought that was practically new,” Osric answers while he chews on his taco.

“It was replaced a couple missions ago. But we got hit by some minor piece of space debris and it caught the gyroscope. It should be a fixable issue, but it’s something the robot arm can't do. It's a two man job.”

“So what's the plan?” Genevieve asks.

Misha points at Jared, then at Jensen. “You've been trained for a situation like this, at least in general. We're gonna set you up for a spacewalk the day after tomorrow, which I've already cleared with Houston and Moscow. This needs to be fixed as soon as possible, so we don't get any issues with trajectory. We can't wait for any mission specialists with the next crew, we at least have to get it up and running.”

“So, one last hooray before I head home?” Jensen throws in with a wide grin. And here he thought he wouldn't get to go on another spacewalk. He's equally giddy and excited at the prospect.

“Yeah,” Misha nods. “I'll give you all the details later today. They planned the procedure at Houston already.”

Wordlessly, Jared claps his shoulder and looks him in the eye, dead serious, eyes big and his mouth pursed.

_We're gonna make it._

Jensen nods.

***

  
On the day before their mission, Jared excuses himself to his bunk to Skype with his family. Jensen uses the time to finish up an experiment, then work out on the bike in the Destiny module to get his regular training done for the day.

Right about the time he finishes up and puts the bike away into the rack on the wall, he hears Jared calling out to him from the Harmony module.

“Hey Jen! You got a minute? I've got someone here who wants to meet you,” he waves at his laptop.

Jensen raises an eyebrow, but floats towards him and sticks his head into the sleeping berth. On the monitor of the laptop is the face of a woman, surely younger than Jared, but the resemblance is uncanny. Since it can't be Jared's mom, the only logical conclusion is that she's his sister.

“You must be Megan,” Jensen greets her with a polite smile. “Hey, how are you?”

“I'm fine, thanks for asking,” she smiles into the camera, and it's the same gummy smile that Jared has, too. “Hi Jensen, nice to finally meet you!”

“Yeah, nice to meet you, too! Jared told me a lot about you.”

“Only the best, I hope. For the record, you're as handsome as Jared said... Anyway, I'd love to chat, but I actually have a thing in a few and I've only got a couple minutes left until I gotta go. But there's a question I wanted to ask you two. If you don't mind.”

“Sure thing,” Jared says after a coughing fit.

“Shoot,” Jensen prompts her, trying to ignore Jared's adorable blush.

Megan leans a bit forward, closer to the laptop so she doesn't need to talk as loud. “Feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but I'm curious - What's it like to have sex in space?”

For a second, Jensen finds himself staring at the laptop monitor, then at Jared, completely speechless. Jared is blushing even more while he eventually stutters out, “Uh, no, I mean, I can't tell you, because we don't and--”

“Um, wait a sec,” Megan points at Jared, then at Jensen. “You two aren't a couple?”

“No?” Jared answers.

“Oh. Sorry. My bad,” and even though she's apologizing, Megan laughs. “I was just interested in the matter and I thought you were... well, this is awkward.”

Jared has gathered himself in the meantime and Jensen watches with dread as a slow smile spreads on his cheeks.

Jensen raises an eyebrow.

Jared grins some more. “You know, now that Megan brought it up – we might have to try it. For science and stuff.”

Since Jensen can't think of anything witty to retort, he gives Jared a nudge into his side that throws him straight out of the camera frame.

“Hey!”

“What he meant to say,” Jensen says towards the camera and winces at Megan's uneasy expression. “We haven't had sex up here--”

“Yet!” Jared yells from the sidelines.

“Dude, I hate you,” Jensen says with the most fond, adoring smile he can manage. It's not as hard as Jensen makes himself believe it is.

 

“You love me, asshat,” Jared floats back to his place beside Jensen and throws his hand over Jensen's shoulders, squeezing him. “And we both know it. So what do you think? Sex for science?”

“Shut your face,” Jensen deadpans and Jared starts cackling as they say their goodbyes to Jared's little sister.

***  
  
The second time isn't as overwhelming as the first spacewalk, but it's still breathtaking to see the stars in all their detail and the ISS in all its glory. Jensen floats through the vacuum only secured by his emergency line and he isn't scared, just excited.

“Dude,” is all Jared says when he follows Jensen out of the airlock. “Wow. And I thought the view from Cupola was great.”

Jensen smiles at him and motions towards the other side of the station. “Magnificent, I know. But we've got work to do.”

They make their way over railings and handrails over to the other side, which takes them about half an hour.

When Jared sees the gyroscope, he whistles. “Man, that must've been one big chunk of space debris.”

“But I think it looks worse than it is,” Jensen inspects the metal plating and removes a piece of rock wedged between the fastening and the gyroscope's plate. “Let's get to it.”

So they nut and bolt, disentangle cables and find some more debris in the device, and before they realize it, almost a whole work day is up when they're finished putting it back together.

They've been in the suits for a little over six hours when the message trickles in.

“Station to EVA,” Misha's strained voice sounds in their headphones.

“EVA, what's up, station?” Jensen answers, cheerful as to having finished their mission.

“Bad news. An unexpectedly huge asteroid will pass us in about forty minutes. The Hubble telescope only noticed it today, and they had to finish calculating the risk for the station at NASA before shooting off the warning.”

“Shit,” Jensen mumbles to himself. He wants to rub his eyes, but his hand only meets his helmet. “So, emergency protocol?”

“Yeah, closing of the hatches, waiting in the Soyuz. You can't make it to the airlock in time, but try to get there while we wait. The risk isn't high, but we have to follow protocol. Better safe than sorry. Plus, the airlock isn't at the side of the ISS that the asteroid is going to pass.”

Jared turns towards Jensen, then, and they wordlessly climb their way over and into the open airlock.

“It's gonna be alright,” Jensen says, leaning back against the rack on the wall.

“I know,” Jared answers, too quiet.

After ten minutes of waiting, a sharp beep over the intercom makes Jensen look up. “Was that you?” he asks Jared, since his suit's perimeters look normal upon closer inspection.

Jared takes a look at his controls, then drops his head back. “Yeah, that was me.”

“Well, what kind of warning is it?”

“Oxygen low,” Jared answers, flat and toneless.

Jensen's heart beats hard and painfully in his chest. “How low?”

“Probably ten, maybe fifteen more minutes.”

“Fuck,” Jensen mutters. “We have to get back inside, get you--”

“No, we can't,” Jared shakes his head. “The hatches between the modules are all closed, and no one's at the controls for the airlock. They're all in the capsules and we won't and can't endanger them. It's my life against five others.”

“Fuck,” Jensen curses out, then checks his own oxygen level, which is fine. “Don't say stuff like that, please.”

“Sorry.”

“I'm gonna tell Misha and then we're--”

“No!” Jared protests, wrapping his hand around Jensen's arm. “Don't. Ten minutes is just enough to get through this. They are worrying enough as it is, so, I'm just... gonna breath slow and shallow, save energy and oxygen. Also no talking for the next minutes, and it just might be enough oxygen to get me back inside.”

Jensen watches him for a second, then shakes his head.

“No,” Jensen feels panic rising in his chest. “Not a single astronaut has ever died on the ISS. You won't be the first to do so. I promise, alright?”

Jared sighs. “No talking,” he says. Instead, he reaches out and grabs Jensen's hand, thick layers of fabric making it impossible to feel anything, no matter how much Jensen wished he could feel Jared's skin on his only one more time. Jensen's  fingers itche and his head hurts. He doesn't want to think about this, about Jared probably... no, he won't go there.

“EVA to station,” he says into the intercom.

“Here station, EVA go,” Misha answers.

“We have a problem. Jared's oxygen is low. How long until the asteroid has passed us by?”

“ _Bliad_ ,” Misha curses with gusto. “About eight minutes, thirty seconds. Is that enough for him?”

“Has to be,” Jensen squeezes Jared's hand. “Just make sure you open the airlock the second we're in the clear. We're already in. Over.”

“Positive, over.”

Jensen allows himself to drift closer to Jared, their helmets short of bumping against each other's. It's the only way he can actually see beyond the sunscreen of Jared's helmet, can see his face, relaxed, breathing through his nose, shallow, slow.

He looks almost like he's already dead.

Jensen shakes himself at the thought, tries to calm down and relax. They have to take excessive precautions in case of an impact. So why wasn't the asteroid detected earlier? So they could've prepared and not have gone on the spacewalk. A tiny little voice in his head that always had a knack for conspiracy theories says 'They knew, but they needed the gyroscope fixed, so they didn't.' Jensen spends a couple minutes fuming and reigning in his anger, then sobers up.

Comets are hard to track, there are dozens of them and they're only visible if they're lit by an external light source. It just might have been overlooked, which is very likely.

So they sit and wait in silence and dread, waiting for the asteroid and death.

“Jensen, there's something I still gotta tell you, if this is the last-” Jared starts, but Jensen shushes him.

“I know.”

“What?” Jared sounds shocked, as if it wasn't obvious.

“I know you have feelings for me. And that is why we're gonna make it through this.”

Jared nods, apparently impressed and speechless. “What do you mean? Why?”

“Because,” Jensen explains as self-assured and calm as he can manage, “I feel the same.”

“Jen--”

“We'll talk about it later, alright?” Jensen cranes his neck, but when he sees the asteroid approaching, it's impossible to miss it. A huge trail accompanies the comet, the dust reflecting the bright light of the sun, the asteroid spinning on its own axis, drawn by gravity, heading straight into the sun.

“Jared, look,” Jensen gasps. “It's beautiful.”

And together, they watch as the comet hurls past, the distance to the space station far enough to not worry about anything.

“Jared?” Jensen asks when the hand in his turns slack and slips out of his grip, feeling lifeless. “Jared! Say something!”

No reaction.

Jensen promptly panics. “EVA to Station, EVA to Station!” he yells into his microphone as he's already pushing the hatch of the airlock shut.

“Jensen? What's going on?”

“Jared is unresponsive. Open up!”

“I'll be right there, just a sec. Hold on.”

Misha's words are just what Jensen needs in that moment, and yet they only make everything worse. To Jensen, it seems like it's half an hour until the hatch of the airlock is secured. “Come on! Pressurization is go!”

“Pressurizing,” Misha confirms, then, after a few seconds, “Done!”

While the hatch to the station opens, Jensen is already fumbling with Jared's helmet, tries to get it off, but his gloved hands aren't dexterous enough.

He curses like a sailor, then gives up and lets Misha take over.

Osric pulls off Jensen's gloves, then reaches for his helmet while Jensen already works on detaching the top half of his space suit. He holds his breath as he watches Jared's helmet coming off, but Jared doesn't wake up or move in any way. He floats in zero-g like a puppet.

Panic floods Jensen's veins again, even stronger than before. Panic to have lost it all without any effort to try, panic to have wasted everything. “Jared!” he shouts, then his voice breaks and tears are welling up as Jensen feels more hopeless with every second ticking by. “Jared, please...”

By the time Osric has peeled off the pants from his legs, Jensen is full-on crying. Except in space, the drops don't fall down, just gather around his eyes. Jensen rubs the ball of salty water from his face and takes a deep breath before he floats over to Jared. Cradling his head in his hands, Jensen takes in Jared's relaxed face, the slack lips that look so tempting. He can't feel pulse against his hands, but then, if he moved his hand--

A sharp intake of breath startles Jensen.

“Jen!” Jared gasps out.

For a moment, Jensen's mind grinds to a halt. Then he starts to laugh, a sound that startles even himself. “Shit,” he mutters between lungfuls of air and the remaining tears that make him choke. “Jay, you're alive. Thank God--”

Jensen doesn't get any further than that.

Because Jared is kissing him, hard and full on his mouth.

Jensen tenses up with surprise, which Jared notices and reacts to by pulling back, but it feels too good to stop. So he leans into Jared to return the kiss the way he wanted to for weeks. It's a celebration of being alive, of being stupid enough to deny themselves this, of being too tempted to resist anymore.

Jared's kisses become open-mouthed and sensual, allowing Jensen to slip his tongue into his mouth, tease the tip of his tongue with his own. Jensen can't help but grin into the kiss, and neither can Jared.  His pulse is racing and the air feels charged between them, electricity sizzling between their lips. Jensen can't get enough of it, can't stop kissing Jared until they're both breathless and panting.

When they finally break apart, they realize that their coworkers are all watching from different corners of the airlock and adjoining module, all with mile-wide grins on their faces.

“Fucking finally,” Misha huffs.

Jensen ignores him and instead looks back at Jared – who grins at him with a bright blush on his face and crinkles around his eyes.

“Dude! I thought you were dead,” Jensen shakes his head in disbelief, still trying to wrap his mind around the happenings of the past five or so minutes. Then he gives into another impulse and cups Jared's cheek in his hand, stroking his thumb over Jared's cheekbone.

“I was meditating. To calm down and breathe less. Learned it ages ago,” Jared explains. “I must've fallen unconscious when the oxygen got too low. You still got me inside in time, though.”

Jensen lets out a few deep breaths, rests his forehead against Jared's. “Shit, that was a close call.”

“You saved my life, Jen,” Jared says, running his hand through the sweaty hair sticking to Jensen's forehead. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Jensen chuckles. “What else would I do?”

Jared smiles at him, a tiny, private smile that Jensen knows is just for him.

Then they're kissing again, wilder this time. More relentless and desperate in their need to touch each other, feel each other, reassure each other that they’re both alive. Jared rolls his body into Jensen's, holds him tight.

Jensen's mind is barely holding on, he just hears Misha say, “That's it, I'm out. You two, get a room.”

The rush of blood in his ears drowns everything else out, but he feels Jared's hands on his plain cotton t-shirt, dragging him towards the Russian segment of the station, towards Jensen's bunk. He's as impatient as Jared, who bounces them off racks on the wall and into water bags stored on the side, all the while kissing Jensen. Jensen isn't of much help, since he's too busy grabbing Jared's ass, grinding into him, wanton and needy and so horny that he feels dizzy.

Jared shoves him against his bunk and traps Jensen with both arms at either side of him, then latches his lips onto Jensen's neck and sucks.

“Jared,” he gasps, then groans, and is surprised at how desperate he sounds.

“Yeah?” Jared is breathless, his chest heaving, and when he entangles their legs, Jensen gets a very unmistakable bulge rubbing over his thigh.

“Shit,” Jensen mumbles. It zings through him like an adrenaline shot, and he needs to get naked now, and he needs to get Jared naked, like, yesterday.

Jensen pulls at Jared's jump suit without any patience and somehow stirs them into the bunk.

It's tiny, the space too confined, leaving not much more room than for the two of them. It's enough to kiss, though, passionate and needy kisses that drive Jensen crazy with lust. He hasn't been this hard in months, and he feels ready to explode, his skin stretched too tight and tingling wherever Jared's fingers touch it.

Jared wants him, and he doesn't hold back showing it. He's possessive, running his hands up and down Jensen's back, grabbing Jensen's ass, and Jensen thrives with it, wallows in it. After so many months, after Monica, it feels so amazing, wanting somebody, being wanted by them, being shown with lips and hands and tiny little noises that couldn't be more erotic.

Jared is far from what Monica was, though.

Their bodies are moving against each other's in a wild rhythm, hips meeting and cocks grinding together under layers of clothing – and speaking of which, that needs to change, Jensen decides. While still kissing Jared, he reaches down to open the zipper of his own jump suit and slip out of the sleeves, then does the same to Jared's, letting his hands roam over hard, defined muscles on Jared's chest, and downwards from there. Jensen slips his hand into Jared's boxers and close it around the long, hard girth of Jared's cock and yeah, as big as he expected and then some.

If Jensen wasn't floating in space, his knees would've gone wobbly with the excitement that's shooting through his veins right now.

Jared chuckles breathlessly. “Impressed?”

“And very, very happy,” Jensen grins, then strokes up the length of Jared's cock, and it feels even bigger like this.

“No fair,” Jared groans, then grabs blindly for Jensen's crotch, cups his cock in his huge hand.

Jensen drops his head forward, against Jared's shoulder, and moans while Jared mirrors his strokes. It's good like this, Jensen setting the rhythm, Jared copying it, and yet it's not enough, never enough, not even when Jared pulls down his boxer briefs and finally gets his hand onto Jensen's cock without any fabric separating skin from skin.

“God, I love survivor sex,” Jared groans. With a quick swoop of his arm, he manages to both get Jensen's hand off his dick and out of the way, and also to wrap said arm around the small of Jensen's back, pulling him closer.

Between them, their cocks rub against one another, creating delicious, desperately needed friction. Jared snaps his hips, the tip of his cock trailing pre-come all over Jensen's abdomen.

Jared uses his feet to secure them on the floor, while Jensen grabs a handrail over his head.

And then it's just pure bliss and perfection. It's hard and fast and _perfect_. Jared covers both their cocks with his hand, stroking them together, his eyes wild and intense as they lock with Jensen's. Both become breathless as they try to keep their lips on each other's, their chests heaving, their bodies moving in a rhythm only they know.

They're both strung too tight after what happened, and Jared's too damn good at this. Jensen can't take his eyes off him, the way his muscles bulge under golden tanned skin, ripple on his stomach, the way his hair is standing in all directions where it's falling out of his ponytail, and it's the hottest picture Jensen could imagine.

“Jared, I'm--” he breaks off, too surprised by the wave of his orgasm hitting him harder than ever before. Pleasure runs in waves down his spine as he shoots all over Jared's hand.

Jared himself has a blissed-out expression on his face and follows Jensen right over the edge. His body spasms quickly, and then there's a few more white globs in the air.

“Whoops,” Jared laughs. “Well, so that's what happens in space during sex.”

Jensen eyes one of the globs of spunk, opens his mouth to catch it, and swallows it straight down.

Jared's mouth is on his a second later. “That,” he groans in-between kisses, “was so hot... I can't even tell you.”

Jensen grins, and they kiss for a little while longer. Their movements become increasingly lazy soon, lips dragging over lips, a tongue sneaking out to wet them, slow and content and happy.

Feeling his eyes drop closed from tiredness, Jensen allows himself to rest in Jared's arms. Within seconds, he's out of it and asleep.

***  
  


Jensen wakes up with his head resting against a firm and very warm surface that feels a lot like skin. It's comfortable like this, and he's not even fully awake yet, so Jensen stays right where he is, lets yesterday’s events return slowly to his half-working brain.

The spacewalk.

Jared.

Jared who snuffles in his sleep, who's got one arm curled around Jensen's waist, who smells of salt and no-rinse shampoo and _Jared_.

It's kind of perfect and intoxicating and Jensen likes it.

A little shiver runs through Jared's body, and Jensen only notices a second later that Jared is very much awake and chuckling as quietly as possible to himself.

A kiss is pressed to Jensen's forehead. Soft like the touch of a feather, so delicate and careful that Jensen's heart aches for it.

“Shit, Jen,” Jared whispers, barely audible. “Never thought it'd be like this. At all.”

Which triggers the memory of their rutting bodies, shared orgasms, and lazy kisses.

Jensen is so shocked that he can't move for a few seconds. Shocked by his own foolishness and naivety. He really should know better by now, so what the hell is he doing? He should be away, out of here. He shouldn't be here with Jared in the first place. Or, since it's his bunk, _Jared_ shouldn't be in here in the first place.

“Jay,” Jensen starts, his voice rough from sleep.

“Morning,” Jared mumbles, clearly happy.

When Jensen opens his eyes, he finds Jared looking at him with so much affection that he can't help it. His flight instinct is kicking in, makes him want to hightail it the fuck out of there, because Jensen doesn't need a repetition of last time a relationship with a co-worker went wrong. But it's Jared.

 _Fuck it_ , Jensen thinks, and squeezes Jared a bit tighter, buries his face in Jared's neck. Just a second more of this, and he'll be able to say it.

“Jay?” he says again, gathering his thoughts.

“Hmm?” Jared hums, still sleepy and lazy and so incredibly gorgeous, with his stubble and disheveled hair floating in all directions.

Jensen doesn't want to do this, and the thought of Jared's possible reaction is enough to make him hurt. Jensen also knows a couple dozen reasons why it's the right thing to do, which hurts even more.

“I'm,” Jensen swallows down the ball of anxiety that threatens to cut off his throat. “I'm not sure this was such a good idea.”

Jared frowns, although he seems amused. “What exactly are you talking about?”

Reluctantly, Jensen drops his hands from Jared's waist and lets himself float in mid-air. “This. You and me. Yesterday.”

Jared looks irritated. “The sex? The finally kissing you the way I wanted to for months?”

“Yeah,” Jensen drops his head in shame. “I know this sounds out of place and harsh right now, and I promise this is not on you, but I'm speaking from experience, here, and I don't... I'm sorry, I can't, as much as I'd want to.”

“You want to, but you can't? I hear that right?” Jared shakes his head. “And you're sure it's not a gay freakout either?”

“I went to college, okay. I had my experiments, and I have accepted that I'm bi. This is not about the fact that we had gay sex last night.”

Jared nods. The pain in his eyes looks too raw, too real, so Jensen averts his eyes again.

“But if you want this, then what could possibly stop you?” Jared adds.

“An ex-girlfriend who works at NASA, too. I learned my lesson.”

Jared is pleading, then, and Jensen feels even shittier. “Dude, I don't know what happened, but I'm not your ex-girlfriend. I feel like I should be offended.”

Jensen huffs out a dry laugh at that. “Trust me, I know that. And please, don't. I didn't mean to offend you, and I'm sorry if I did.”

“Then why would you even compare your relationship with her to the one we're definitely not having right now?”

“It's... that's not the point,” Jensen sighs. Why does it have to be that complicated? It isn't that complicated, at least not for Jensen. Kind of logical, more likely.

“Then why don't we try this and you tell me what you're afraid of?”

“Cabin fever,” Jensen bursts out. “That's the main reason. Big brother effect. People falling in love with each other or whatever because they're in a closed environment and their judgment is affected.”

“Because what, people are different in everyday life?”

“Of course. Work isn't pleasure. Plus, things like this, a trip to the friggin' ISS, that's something that changes you.”

“You mean, you don't know if we'd work, back down on earth?” Jared asks. “And that's why you won't even try? You'd rather stay friends than take the risk and maybe find something amazing?”

Jensen lets his shoulders sag and gives Jared a sad smile. “Yeah. It hurts less.”

Jared's facial expression freezes, then he nods with his lips pressed to a thin like. “Can't actually say that's true right now.”

“Jared, I don't--” Jensen reaches out for his upper arm, but Jared winds his way out of Jensen's arms and pushes the doors open.

“No, Jen, clear statement – we're friends and that's it. C'mon, we got work to do. Last day in space and stuff like that.”

***  
  
They spend the day with loading up the Soyuz with experiment results and their personal stuff, then do a test run of the undocking process.

Everything is ready.

Jensen hasn't slept as bad as he does during his last night on the space station in years. He's alone in his bunk, and even in the tiny berth, there's too much space for Jensen's liking.

***  
  
They say their goodbyes with hugs and whispered words of gratitude and thanks.

Jensen dreads the inevitable, but when Jared is last in line to say goodbye to him, there's nowhere to go but straight into Jared's arms.

They're warm and comfortable and Jensen wants, wants with a fierceness that surprises him.

“Think about it, please?” Jared whispers into his ear.

When Jensen pulls back, he can make out tears gathering in the corners of Jared's eyes. Without thinking about it, he reaches out to cup Jared's face in his hands, brushes away the tears.

“Goodbye, Jared,” Jensen says firmly, then leans in to kiss Jared's cheek.

“See you,” Jared answers, another set of fresh tears in his eyes.

“I'm sorry.”

Jared shakes his head. “I'm sure you had your reasons. Just, let's keep in contact, please?”

“Will do,” Jensen says, even though he doesn't know if he will go through with it. What could he possibly have to say to Jared. _Hey, sorry, but the one time had to stay the one time._

He's not that cruel, but he still tells Jared his personal e-mail address.

Jensen climbs into the Soyuz and closes the hatch after one last picture being taken. Then he sits down between Osric and Misha.

“Time to go home,” Misha straps himself in.

“Yeah,” Jensen confirms with a look out the window, at the spinning planet earth.

It doesn't feel like he's going home.

It doesn't feel like home four hours later, when he's being lifted out of the capsule by the search and rescue team.

It doesn't even feel like home when he returns to his empty house in Austin after spending a week at the NASA facility specializing in poking people who just returned from space.

 

_Progress_ – Russian spacecraft designed to deliver supplies into orbit. It was used both for the Russian space station MIR and later the International Space Station. Derived from the Soyuz transportation system, it is launched into space by the Soyuz rocket. It can be entered by astronauts when docked to a space station and, after unloaded, is loaded up with trash and other items the crew doesn't need any more. It is then undocked and burns out upon re-entering the earth's atmosphere.

***

A week after returning home, Jensen finds an e-mail in his inbox when he opens his laptop after work.

From:  jared.padalecki@nasa.org

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_Hey Jensen,_

_we realized that we've been saving up all the omelet food bags today, since they were your favorites. Then we realized that we could eat them at will now, so we all had like two packages for breakfast each. In fact, I had three._

_If we had gravity up here, I would've been able to roll from Zarya to here._

_Hope you settled in at home. Enjoy gravity. And real omelets._

_\- J._

Jensen snorts out a laugh. He clicks the answer button and writes “Hey Jared,” but then the cursor stops and blinks at him.

He can't think of a single thing to say. He feels bad bragging about normal, non-dehydrated food. He feels too adult to write a simple 'LOL' back. Mostly, he's too unsure on where Jared and he stand.

Not even settling in is something to write about. His house doesn't feel homey any more, for whatever reason. His dog left with Monica. The place is too big, his parents live a couple hours away, so he's mostly alone. And the bed is stuffy with the thick duvet Monica had wanted and Jensen had kept. He doesn't like it any more. He doesn't even like the cream color of the couch, even though they both had decided on that one back in the day.

Jensen thinks of Jared's smirky little face while typing up this e-mail and feels his heart ache for him. Those feelings are pushed aside quickly and more easily than Jensen thought, but a lot more painful than expected.

Then, the doorbell rings, and Jensen leaves to open the door to his neighbor, Mrs. Potter – first name not Lily, but Josephine – to take a package she had accepted for him. It contains a couple DVDs, movies they've watched on the station during movie nights. Over unpacking and sorting the DVDs onto his shelf, Jensen completely forgets the e-mail.

He manages to forget it until the next Friday, when there's another one from Jared.

From:  jared.padalecki@nasa.org

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_Hey Jensen,_

_Gen and I invented Skittleball today. It's basically a game of who can catch most of three Skittles thrown in short succession from Unity to Kibo._

_She kicked my ass and is now the reigning champion on the ISS. An ego and a smirk double her own size, let me tell ya._

_I feel sick, might be because I ate too many Skittles. Training, you know?_

_Jones told me the other day that you're fine and back at work and busy evaluating our experiments. Good luck!_

_\- J._

_  
PS: You don't need to answer these. I just enjoy writing them._

Jensen has no idea what to answer either.

Over the next weeks, Jared keeps him updated with short messages from the station, containing anecdotes and dumb jokes and some probably classified data about experiments. There's an e-mail every Friday, and Jensen finds himself bouncing with excitement wherever one is sitting in his inbox.

Thanksgiving is the first time that Jared does write to Jensen out of order.

The e-mail doesn't have a greeting or an end, but it's enough to make Jensen stare at his phone for a few gut-wrenching seconds after dinner at his parents' place. He takes a deep, shuddering breath before he reads the words again.

From:  jared.padalecki@nasa.org

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_I miss you. And I'm wondering if you read these at all._

_To unsubscribe to this newsletter, answer to this message with the following keyword: “Not interested.”_

Jensen never answers to the e-mail. So the updates keep coming.

On Christmas, there's another message out of order.

From:  jared.padalecki@nasa.org

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_Will I ever see you again?_

'Yes!' Jensen wants to yell, but by now, answering feels stupid. He's left Jared hanging for so long that it seems dishonest to write now.

Once again, he's at his parents' place for the holidays, since there's no point in celebrating in his empty, too silent house. He'd rather go back to being treated like a teenager.

“Honey, what's wrong?” his mom asks from the doorway to the living room, where Jensen sits on the sofa.

Jensen wordlessly raises his cell phone as an explanation.

“Someone wrote you?” she guesses with a frown.

“Yeah.”

And Donna Ackles wouldn't be his mom if she didn't notice when one of her kids needed help.

So she sits down beside him and curls her arm around his shoulders. “Tell me what's wrong.”

And Jensen wouldn't be her son if he didn't know that resistance was futile. “I met somebody. At work.”

“Oh,” she sighs, clearly not thrilled. “Again?”

“Yeah. So I have no idea what to do about it.”

“After last time—“ she breaks off, shoots Jensen a worried look.

Jensen just nods. “I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. But I'm too deep into this as it is.”

“You're in love,” Donna states, although there's a question in there somewhere.

Jensen hesitates. For a second, he thinks about it, but there's no point in lying to himself or his mom. “Yes, I am. So what do I do?”

“Make a choice. Either try this again with all the risks involved,” she tilts her head in consideration, skeptical. “Or you set your priorities and stick to them.”

“Meaning?”

“Your job at NASA or a relationship. Decide on one, go through with it, and never look back.”

Jensen bites down on his bottom lip and stares into space for a few seconds. “Thanks, mom. I'll think about it.”

She pats his back in support. “You'll make the right decision, I'm sure. Just follow your heart.”

Jensen smiles, and he's aware it's a bit self-depreciating.

“And tell Jared Happy Holidays from us,” she adds with a wink at Jensen's phone.

“How did you know it was Jared?” Jensen splutters in shock.

“Well, you were very close friends with him up in space, weren't you? You did all those lovely videos,” Donna seems irritated. “I was sure you'd have his e-mail.”

“I have, but I--” Jensen accesses her. “Oh, you meant just because I- oh.”

“Why, is there something else concerning Jared?”

Jensen opens his mouth to answer, but he's out of anything to say, so he averts his eyes.

“Wait, did you mean that I knew-- are you in love with Jared?” Donna asks.

Jensen's defeated, crestfallen look must give it all away.

“Oh, baby,” Donna says and runs her hand through his hair just like she did the first time Jensen had his heart broken by a boy. Jensen remembers having felt too old to be called that back in college, but now, it's all the comfort he needs. “How does he feel about you?” she wants to know.

“The same way,” Jensen confesses, and feels his heart swell at the knowledge that yes, Jared feels just as attracted to him as Jensen feels towards him. “But I was the one who messed it up before I left.”

“Then fix it, if he's worth it,” Donna advises.

***  
  
From:  jared.padalecki@nasa.org

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_Hey Jensen,_

_you're probably watching the ball drop right now, so I won't keep you from that for too long._

_Happy New Year!_

_\- J._

_  
P. S.: I wish I had a certain someone to kiss at midnight._

***  
  
From:  jared.padalecki@nasa.org

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_Hey Jensen,_

_I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've set up the last experiments of my mission today. In two weeks, it's go time._

_Gen keeps teasing me about you, because I'm always bursting out with stupid thoughts about things you would've done differently or commented on in whatever way. I really do miss you a lot as a friend. Even more so as more than that._

_Sometimes I find myself thinking that these e-mails are a waste of time and I shouldn't still hold onto you when you made it so abundantly clear that you don't want me in your life like that._

_And then I'm thinking that I'm maybe brightening your Fridays with these messages. Maybe you read all of these and collect them, printed out, under your pillow, like the hopeless romantic high school kid you are on the inside. ;)_

_Anyway, T-minus two weeks. Two more messages. For what it's worth, I'll finish this._

_Just hoping you're thinking about little old me up here the way I can't stop thinking about you down there._

_\- J._

***  
  
Jensen is so busy that he barely has time to rest after work. After the message that makes him get sloppy drunk with Mike like he's in his early twenties again – and thank god that Mike will never be that mature, either, except for the fact that the fucker becomes a wannabe philosopher when he's wasted – there's another short one, like Jared doesn't know what to say any more.

And okay, the message the week before wasn't the whole reason for Jensen getting drunk. He meant to celebrate, after all. He had a reason to celebrate.

That he got to a point where he poured his heart out to Mike of all people had only to do with the amount of alcohol Mike kept bringing to their table.

“But what's stopping you now?” he had asked, in the end. “You got a new job. Which, for the third time, congratulations. Great gig you scored there. No more internal work relationship.”

“What if he doesn't want me anymore?” Jensen had stared into his beer. They were on their third pitcher, because when Mike had a night out without his husband, he went big or he went home. Mostly both, the latter very late.

“Dude, he wrote you like, every week for the past three, almost four months. I dare say he's smitten with you.”

“And what if I gave up my job for nothing? What if this all will fuck up my life?”

“You should've thought of that before you quit NASA and transferred to the space education center,” Mike raised an eyebrow. “Still, the teaching job will be just the change you need after all of this. No matter how it ends. Trust me on this, Jenny. You did this because you thought Jared was worth it, and that was while sober. Now you're just drunk rambling.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “How did you know Tom was the right one?”

“Derailing the topic, nice, Ackles,” Mike grinned. “Honestly, though? The second he met my family.”

“Okay. How?” Jensen asked.

“He immediately got along great with my parents. And he was incredible with my nephew, and then it just went – 'click' in my head, like, this is the man I want to marry and spend my life with and have his babies and whatnot. That we shared this, both wanted to have a family, that established a bond that nothing could change.”

Jensen remembered the hour-long conversations from the space station with his parents, with Jared butting in every five minutes and eventually just staying to chat. They loved him at first sight.

Mike was smiling to himself as he spun his wedding ring over his left ring finger.

Jensen had decided on the Rosenbaum principle right then and there. Go big or go home.

***  
  
From:  jared.padalecki@nasa.org

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_Hey Jensen,_

_so, this is it. My last e-mail from space. It's time to say goodbye tomorrow. I wish I was back home already._

_Wish me luck._

_\- J._

Jensen takes a deep breath as he finishes reading the message that just arrived the second he opened his inbox. Jared sent it only a couple minutes ago, as per its timestamp.

Now or never.

From:  j.ackles@gmail.com

To:  jared.padalecki@nasa.org

_Hey Jared,_

_godspeed and good luck! I'll see you when you get there._

_\- Jensen  
_

He turns off his laptop, then, because he can't stare at the open browser tab, waiting for an answer. It'd kill him.

***  
  
Jensen can't follow the landing of the Soyuz capsule that brings Jared back home, because it's his first day at his new job and he's way too nervous because of that.

Jared will be checked by a NASA doctor anyway and won't be released until about a week after landing, when he's used to gravity and walking again.

It doesn't stop Jensen from reading up the news online, scrolling through picture sets of the search and rescue team heaving the astronauts out of the capsule that made a perfect landing in the Kazakh steppe. Jared looks good, his hair having grown out a lot longer, gathered in a ponytail, and grinning into the camera as he's held up in a stretcher.

The article says they're recovering fast, Jared already having picked up walking after landing, which is good. Jensen had tried to do the same and had failed, but it was common knowledge that the ones who walked again soon recovered faster.

There's a few days of silence between them, until there's another e-mail.

From:  jarpad@hotmail.com

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_Hey Jensen,_

_I was surprised to hear you quit NASA. And by surprised I mean flabbergasted._

_Any chance there's a meeting with coffee and an explanation like, at least a little bit possible?_

_\- J._

From:  j.ackles@gmail.com

To:  jarpad@hotmail.com

_Hi Jared,_

_how does Saturday at 3 p.m. at Louis' suit you?_

_\- Jensen_

From:  jarpad@hotmail.com

To:  j.ackles@gmail.com

_It's a date. ;)_

***  
  
Jensen sees him standing in front of Louis' coffee shop a mile away, and his heart makes a leap in his chest.

He's so nervous he's shaking.

Jared looks over when Jensen still has to walk a couple yards and doesn't take his eyes off him until Jensen is standing right in front of him. His breath is hitching at Jared's smile, and he's ready to jump out of his skin.

“Hey Jen,” Jared says. It's quiet and affectionate, and it makes Jensen's worries seem unreasonable.

“Hi,” Jensen answers.

For a second, it's awkward between them, neither of them knowing how to react or how to handle the situation.

In the end, Jared takes a step forward and wraps his arms around Jensen, holds him close and doesn't let him go for almost too long.

“I never noticed you have bowlegs,” Jared chuckles into his ear.

Jensen laughs. “I do have a pretty bad set of Texas bowlegs, yes.”

“How are you?” Jared asks when he pulls back.

“Fine,” Jensen grins, and the shift of Jared's eyes to his lips makes a shiver run down his spine. He wants to kiss Jared, God, he wants it so much, but this is not the time or place. Instead of giving in, Jensen retreats and checks out the coffee shop, which isn't very crowded. “You?”

“Better, now that I can walk again,” Jared winks and somehow makes it sound dirty.

Jensen feels heat spread on his cheeks. “C'mon, let's find ourselves a table.”

As soon as they're seated and have a cup of coffee – in Jensen's case – and a frilly high glass of latte macchiato with lots of cream and sugar and fucking sprinkles in Jared's case – Jensen doesn't feel like beating around the bush. He's waited and wasted three months to say this.

“There are a couple of things I wanted to tell you,” Jensen starts, looking Jared straight in the eye. He's indeed taller in person, and Jensen can't say he didn't check him out now that he sees him up and walking. Despite months in space, he's kept his slim, muscular figure, although it's hidden under a comfy looking white shirt and a dark blue scarf haphazardly thrown around his neck.

“Shoot,” Jared nods.

“Why I quit NASA, that's a long story. Back when I was considered a candidate to fly to the ISS, there was the retreat.” Jensen stops, waits for Jared.

“The week-long camp to sort out the candidates,” Jared nods.

“Yeah. There were twenty of us, Jones as the boss, his assistant for organizational stuff, a couple others from the upper ranks, and fourteen for consideration. You know how the thing works, you're cooped up with each other for the week, and you spend too much time with each other. I met Mark back then, by the way. And Monica, my ex.”

“Monica Roth, Jones' assistant?” Jared asks in surprise.

“Yeah,” Jensen confirms.

“You dated the boss' secretary?” Jared chuckles.

“Yes, is it that ridiculous?” Jensen smiles back and takes a sip from his coffee.

“Nah, I can see why she fell for you,” Jared winks again and manages to make Jensen all flustered. Again.

“Anyway,” he coughs. “We were hanging out all week, and by the end of it, we were dating. It was all clichéd, you know. Meeting someone at work, impressed by their competence and all. In hindsight, it was nothing but cabin fever.”

Jared lifts his chin with a look of realization. “That's why you--”

Jensen nods. “I didn't know it back then. The trouble started when we were already living together and I was selected for the mission. We were used to people talking about us at work, but Monica soon became more resentful with every day approaching my launch into space. She got bitter, and when we fought, even about the stupidest little things, she got cruel. Like, accusing me of only being with her because she got me closer to Jones, so Jones would pick me for the space program.”

“No way,” Jared frowns. “Really? Wow, that's just... wow. Low blow.”

“And at first I thought she just threw it in to hurt me or because she was impulsive, but after a while those accusations became more and more. It wasn't until two months before I would go to the ISS that I realized she wanted me to not go. She had huge problems with her ego and self-confidence issues, and she resented being with someone who had more success than her.”

Jared just raises an eyebrow.

Jensen shrugs. “So I finally did what I should've done in the first place and broke up with her. And it got ugly, believe me. She told lies, confirmed all the rumors they'd spread concerning me and my relationship with her. The only one who didn't believe her was Jones, thank God, because he knew why he picked me.”

“Well,” Jared says when Jensen stays silent for a few moments. “I can see why you didn't want a repetition of that.”

Jensen nods.

“I can also assure you that I wouldn't ever do that,” Jared hurries to say, then follows it up with an apologetic smile. “If you still consider, you know, this.”

“Point is, Jay, I had to make a decision. It was my job at NASA, which was kind of done after the mission and the evaluation of the experiments, anyway. So I quit my job and got into teaching at the space education center,” Jensen smiles and takes a sip of his coffee. “As my mother decided to call it, I sorted out my priorities.”

“But you loved NASA.”

“Yeah.”

For a while, Jared keeps his eyes on him while his smile slowly stretches into a blinding grin. “I see.”

It's a quiet moment between them, the coffee shop bustling in the background, machines whirring, customers chatting, the smell of fresh dark roast in the air. Jensen takes it all in, smiles at Jared and waits for his reaction.

Jared sits there with his glass of latte macchiato half-empty in his left hand, his right hand curled under his chin.

He suddenly lets go of the glass to reach out for Jensen's hand lying on the table in front of him, but he never gets that far. The glass falls down onto the table and spills all over the polished wood.

“Oh shit,” Jared curses and jumps to his feet.

Jensen is a bit slower than him and gets hot coffee all over his crotch.

“Fuck!” he curses out, then stands next to Jared, dabbing at his crotch with a napkin.

“I'm so sorry,” Jared apologizes both to Jensen and the waitress hurrying towards them. “I didn't mean to, and I can pay for--”

“It's alright,” she reassures him with a smile. “I can handle it, don't worry,” she adds when he goes to help her.

Jared is so red in the face that Jensen can't keep in his laughter as soon as the waitress cleared their table and heads off to bring Jared another cup of coffee with a generous tip paid up front.

Still standing beside the ruined table, Jensen throws his head back and just laughs like he hasn't in all the months since he returned to earth.

“Forgot how gravity works, huh?” he teases Jared with a nudge into his ribs.

Jared becomes even redder and bites his lip.

“Man, I bought a new set of dishes recently because I smashed so many,” Jensen chuckles. “I still drop pens because I forget they don't float in mid-air.”

Jared huffs out a harsh laugh at that and turns to Jensen. “But this was... this was supposed to be our first date, Jensen. It was supposed to be perfect and I wanted to tell you how much I missed you and why I still want this and you were supposed to be all sappy and falling into my arms and now... it's all ruined.”

Jensen takes in his crestfallen posture and decides someone as happy and energetic as Jared should never look like this. “Hey,” he says and reaches out to tilt up Jared's chin, make him look at him. “It's far from ruined. It's perfect.”

With that, Jensen kisses Jared, right there in the middle of the coffee shop. It's just a short kiss, because Jensen has never been into public displays of affection, but it's perfect.

Jensen sits down afterwards and finishes his coffee. Their waitress returns with a new latte macchiato for Jared and Jensen orders another cup.

“You quit your job for me,” Jared states like he just realized the magnitude of this.

“After I had the teaching job in my pocket,” Jensen shrugs, then smiles. “'Sides, you're worth it.”

Jared shakes his head and looks out the window.

Jensen can't stop looking at him. His slanted, hazel eyes, the fine curve of his mouth, the stubble on his cheeks.

When Jared turns to lock eyes with him, Jensen is hit by an overwhelming wave of feelings.

No one would understood what just happened, not on the level that Jensen has. What they've experienced together up on the ISS is something no one would ever be able to take away from them. Plus, Jensen could look at Jared all day every day and still find new and interesting quirks about him.

This time, Jared sets down his beverage before he reaches out for Jensen's hand.

When his fingers curl around Jensen's, it's like electricity running over his skin where it touches Jared's. It's like the proverbial click that Mike was talking about, because Jensen can feel it right then and there.

This is it, Jared is it.

“I know I never told you and I never answered your e-mails because I couldn't think of anything appropriate to write,” Jensen squeezes Jared's hand. “But I missed you, too. Swear to god, I missed you like a limb.”

“Yeah,” Jared nods. “I know how that feels.”

“So, uh. We still on the same page with this?” Jensen asks and feels like he's back in high school, what with his heart beating too fast and his hand shaking in Jared's hand.

Jared's smile turns teasing. “I don't know, are we?”

“Well, I don't know where you are,” Jensen smirks, tilting his head to the side. “But I'd really like to pick up where we left off. You know, before I ruined it.”

“Good,” Jared says with his eyes sparkling in amusement. “Me too. Might be because I'm still a little bit in love with you. Don't tell anyone.”

“I won't if you don't,” Jensen replies.

With a grin, Jared leans over the table and kisses Jensen, and it is, indeed, perfect.

**THE END**

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **Author's note:**  
>  I knew I had to claim this artwork from the second I saw it. To do research for a story has never been as interesting and amazing as it was for this one. In fact, I think I did more researching than actually writing the story. You wouldn't believe how long NASA and ISS documentaries on YouTube can keep you up at night with a smile on your face.  
> So what I'm trying to say is – this was a great opportunity to write about something I love and find absolutely fascinating, and I'm glad I did it. It's been a while since [I sent Misha to the moon on a nondescript rocket.](http://namichan89.livejournal.com/23159.html)
> 
>  **Special thanks:**  
>  To my artist [meesasometimes](http://meesasometimes.livejournal.com/) – for an amazing prompt, for her creative way to do art that intrigued me from the spot and for being an absolute joy to work with. I'm glad you wanted space sex, because that has been one of the best experiments I've done for years. I love your stitching technique, which works perfectly for this story. So thank you very much, I had a great time working with you! I hope we can repeat that sometime.
> 
> To my beta [blow_me_cas](http://blow_me_cas.livejournal.com/) – for being a reliable friend, a kick-ass beta, for always calling me out on my mistakes, and always managing to squeeze my stuff in-between your own. I think I'm repeating myself since we've been at this for so long together, but I appreciate it more than I could ever put to words. Thank you so much for always being there for me!


End file.
